story of my life

These are some quotes from the novel Prep by Curtis Sittenfeld. The book was ok but I liked these lines because they reminded me of my sad pathetic self. hehe!

“…I was exhausted all the time by both my vigilance and my wish to be inconspicuous. At soccer practice, I worried that I would miss the ball, when we boarded the bus for games at other schools, I worried that I would take a seat by someone who didn’t want to sit by me, in class I worried I would say a wrong or foolish thing. I worried that I took too much food at meals, or that I did not disdain the food that you were supposed to diadian- Tator Tots, key lime pie–and at night, I worried that Dede or Sin-Jun would hear me snore. I always worried someone would notice me, and then when no one did, I felt lonely.”

These feelings were more prevalent for me when I was younger. I have somewhat become more comfortable with myself. Most of the time my theory is that it is better that people have no opinion of me other than she is quiet than have a negative opinion. I am always waiting for a person, a place, some epiphany to change my world. I know I have a skewed vision of myself. But doesn’t everybody?

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October 2, 2009. Tags: , , , , , . Uncategorized.

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